Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Does Erectile Dysfunction Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

Okay, bear with me for a moment and I’ll explain what I mean. As background, you may want to watch the YouTube video, Airplane! Don’t Eat The Fish.

From my book, “HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life:”

   One cannot spend an evening watching broadcast television without being accosted by “those” commercials. First there’s the group of guys playing guitars and singing joyously about their flaccid dicks, and then you get to share the inane thoughts of some guy talking to his reflection in a store window about his limpy. A couple is painting a room that magically turns into some kind of sex garden, or so they imply, and they’re all trying to convince you that the only solution is the quick-fix; pop a pill.   
Then, there are the bathtubs. Will someone please explain the fucking bathtubs! 
Each of these audiovisual abominations multiplied my indignation. Every program break assaulted me with some guy looking out from the TV screen all but directing his comments to me by name, mocking me.

Their entire marketing strategy is to humiliate men into buying their damn drugs.

I had ED, and I rid myself of that blight. Now I don’t need pills or anything else to get hard except a woman that turns me on. I’m convinced that some portion of my problem was the time-bomb placed in my psyche by the pharmaceutical industry. In addition to having been out of the saddle for some time, with some added pounds at my middle, and a general knowing that I was out of shape, I was told every night that because I’m getting older, I’m going to have erectile dysfunction. Hell, if those great looking guys – each fit, vital, and athletic – have a problem, then a slug like me just has to have trouble getting it up, too, right?

Since “coming out” to friends about having had ED, and unabashedly hyping my book to them – well, not for them, of course, for but the benefit of guys they know with the problem – I’ve had men tell me that they also had erectile dysfunction problems when they got together with a woman for the first time after a long hiatus the divorce is final and their attorney says it's okay for them to date again.

It seems that every man I know says he took “a pill” that someone gave them when they’ve loved a woman for the first time. Why? Because they were sure they’d have dysfunction even though they hadn’t had an experience of dysfunction. They were brainwashed by the commercials, predisposed to the problem. We all know about Performance Anxiety... so do the pharmaceutical firms that make Billions of dollars selling their drugs.

So, why the scene from Airplane!? As Leslie Nielsen enumerates the symptoms of food poisoning, Peter Graves exhibits the symptoms. Why do I pose the question as to whether erectile dysfunction causes ED? Because the fact that ED can happen is used as a ploy to convince you that it will happen. It’s psycho-terrorism promulgated by Big Pharm, and you start to show the signs of dysfunction as a result of their attack.

There are other causes of erectile dysfunction, not the least of which is a generalized state of bad health, internal, sub-clinical inflammation, and adrenal stress, all as a result of bad diet, lack of exercise and the pressures of life. My book provides a simple, “cafeteria plan” from which any guy can choose to help lessen the real causes of ED and provide you with a path to a solid healthy place from which to launch your sex life. My objective today is to let you know that you don’t have to have ED just because you’re getting older.

Follow this simple 4-step program:
  • Eat a bit healthier by reading my book that will tell you how.
  • Do exercises that specifically service your manhood, by reading my book that will tell you how.
  • Read my book, it tells you how.
  • ...and Ignore the commercials while reading my book that will tell you how.
(Hey, if it works for them, maybe it will work for me, too)
HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. 

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.



Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Erectile Dysfunction and Unemployment

I’m going to go way out on a limb and make a statement so radical you may be tempted to close your browser window and go screaming out into the night never to be seen or heard from again. Ready?
Men and women are different.

I’m not talking about genitals – as much as I really like to. Breasts? Nope. I’m referring to psyches, minds, ways of perceiving the world, their families, and themselves. Most applicable to this discussion of erectile dysfunction is unemployment.

Just as women have a “maternal instinct,” men have an “instinct to provide.” When our ancient ancestors lived on the land, in caves and temporary shelters, division of labor was the only formula for survival. Women gestated, gave birth, and nurtured the children. Men protected their families from other tribes, predatory animals, and caught game for food and skins for clothing. Men who were better at these tasks kept their families alive to propagate. Over the millennia, the absolute need by men to provide food, shelter, and clothing for our women and children became as much of a desperate need as the drive to reproduce.

In our modern culture, the separation of duties within the home has become blurred and in many cases obliterated. I contend that a woman’s need to provide is an offshoot of her maternal instinct; viscerally, her needs must be met, whether that's from someone else or through her own efforts. I do not demean, or in any way diminish that very real emotion, I just say that it comes from a different place than does the need by a man to provide for others.

When a man is unable to provide for his family he is stricken with a sense of being less than a man.  The best comparable emotion in a woman is that which is experienced when a woman is told she cannot bear children. Does it make her less than a person, in any way reduce her worth as a human being, a contributor to the community, a businesswoman, or a lover? No. But there is a profound sense of personal insufficiency. That is the emotion felt by men when they cannot earn a living.

Unemployment is rampant. So is erectile dysfunction.

The psychological toll of being out of work is far more profound than just the stress of paying the bills. Even if money can be found from other sources – his woman’s income, or a family benefactor – it is not the same as being the source of security. Certainly there are men who are born into wealth, and who do nothing to secure or perpetuate their stream of resources, but they play the mental “entitlement” game... they’re still the source of the money and all it provides to their families. To the working “Joe” who looks average, lives average, and has an average length penis, the only thing he’s got – or so he feels – to keep the adoration and admiration of his woman and children, is his ability to bring home the proverbial bacon. This is true even if he’s only bringing home half the bacon.

The deep feelings of helplessness that pervade the unemployed man’s every waking minute – and many of his dreams – is something that is cannot be completely removed from his consciousness even while watching his favorite team, or enjoying time with family, friends or his lover. It is there all the time. Like a missing child, it creates a hole in his stature as a man that manifests as a pressure in his gut that just doesn’t go away.

Some men – perhaps younger men with more options – may take this as a temporary setback. However, a man in his 40s, and certainly in his 50s or older, whose prospects for finding work are dim in this economy, will be affected to his core. Erectile dysfunction – so much a disease of poor nutrition and lack of exercise – is almost inevitable as the stressers multiply.

I won’t bog you down with the details of the biology and endocrinology of stress. But the distress of unemployment will cause a cascade of compounds to be formed in the body that can wreak havoc on the hormonal balance necessary for erectile function. With everything else that’s going wrong in your life, your woman comes to you, perhaps out of personal need, but also out of concern for your happiness and pleasure, and gives herself to you... and nothing happens. This leads to clinical,  or more often, subclinical depression. You know, you just feel like crap.

Oh, by the way, anti-depressants (Zoloft, Prozac, and other SSRIs) shut down your dick with the first pill. Medication induced erectile dysfunction may take months to reverse after you stop taking the drugs. So if you want to be happy and flaccid, be my guest.

On the other hand, there’s the irony that just when you think you need Viagra or Cialis the most, the cost of a doctor’s visit to get a prescription, and the price tag on those damn pills is just completely outside of your budget – because you don’t have a freaking job.


As hinted at earlier, the cause of ED is usually not just psychological. Stress exacerbates an underlying predisposition to erectile difficulties. That root cause is poor nutrition and lack of exercise. Here’s where there’s a good reverse correlation. The depressive state that unemployment causes can be lessened or eliminated through exercise and improved eating habits. Everything ties into everything else.


If you want to get back to work you have to make yourself more attractive to employers. If you want to get back into action between the sheets, you’ve got to whip yourself into better physical and psychological states. It all goes to becoming healthier. Conveniently, you have the time to improve your health while you’re not working. Take an hour a day to walk, run, bicycle, or work out at the gym. For the remaining “job hunting” hours of the day, you will be more effective in performing that chore, and more likely to land a position.


In my book, I provide you with a cafeteria plan of actions, foods, and strategies for getting yourself back into erectile shape. The precise protocol for regaining and retaining erectile potency will also make you potently attractive as a prospective employee. When you feel healthier, and sexier, you will project that level of confidence you had in your 20s – and all of life will improve.


Read the book. It’s the best freaking few dollars you’ll spend.


HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. 

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

If Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Work for You, You Probably Don’t Need Them


There are many causes of Erectile Dysfunction. Some can be corrected and some cannot. 

Often, those men that have had surgery – prostate removal being most common – will lose the ability to ever attain a natural erection because nerves that control the erectile mechanism that run across the surface of the prostate gland have been removed as collateral damage of the prostatectomy. Certain spinal surgeries will also sever the communication from brain to penis necessary for tumescence.

For these men, implants and other tacts are necessary for sexual satisfaction. It should be noted that failure to achieve erection does not necessarily mean that orgasm and ejaculation are not possible. You just need an understanding and cooperative partner.

However, if you are one of the 500 gazillion men – according to the drug companies – that have successfully used an ED drug, then you most likely don’t need it.

If you can get a hard-on by taking a pill, then you have the comforting knowledge that the basic erectile machinery works. You body can pump blood into your penis, you valve mechanism can maintain pressure long enough to satisfy all those present, and then it goes away as it should.

So, why can’t you do that on your own without the medication, the cost of the medication, and a psychological dependence on the medication? Well, you can.

Virtually every man I know 50 years of age or older who has gotten back in the saddle after a long absence, has made some comment to me similar or identical to, “Yeah, I had this one Viagra [or Cialis, or whatever] that someone gave me, and it worked great.” I don’t know who this is that’s handing out one pill at a time, but I don’t call anyone down for being less than upfront about having spoken to their doctor, gotten a prescription, and having bought some pills just in case. I did the same thing.

What they also say is that once they start having sex with some frequency, if they try going without the pill, they find they don’t need it to perform well and perform regularly. This clearly indicates that one of three things may be occurring. I present them here in reverse order of likelihood, that is, the least likely first:

  • There is some as yet uncharacterized physiological state in which one’s penis must be re-primed for action. One has to “blow out the sludge” as if gunk had accumulated in the pipes. Once the drugs have done that, then it’s smooth sailing.
  • Sex is a lot like riding a bicycle. If you haven’t ridden a bike in many years, you will find you need a few minutes to get your balance and feel comfortable making turns – especially tight turns – while watching where you’re going. Of course bike riding is a solitary endeavor and you don’t have to ride a bike to someone else’s satisfaction. And, of course, the first time out your ass hurts like hell. Taking the ED drugs gives you the ability to get back on the bike and ride like the wind more quickly.
I firmly believe that both of these are contributory to reinstating one’s erectile competence. But the third, I believe, is the greatest factor:

  • You’re scared shitless. It has been a long time since you've t been with a woman that doesn’t know you and you're afraid she won't give you the benefit of the doubt. You are, perhaps, trying to begin a relationship that might have scope outside the bedroom, but man + woman = sex is an essential part of the equation. If you fail miserably at your first attempt, you may not get an invitation to try again. The buzz word here is Performance Anxiety, it's been around forever, but I blame Big Pharm for convincing a lot of men they’re going to have a problem when they wouldn’t otherwise.

In the old days, performance anxiety could cause a temporary suspension of operations. Usually, later on the same night, things would work perfectly and the initial false start becomes a joke that loses importance and fades into a couple’s sexual history. Nowadays, one can’t watch an evening of television without being barraged by commercials. One after another, handsome, slim, athletic men, each the image of health and vitality are telling you that they can’t get a boner, and that’s natural... for a man your age.

You look in the mirror and you don’t see one of these television actors – each a refugee from GQ magazine ads. You see a profoundly out of shape guy with no upper body strength, a pot belly, and a flat ass. “Hell,” you tell yourself, “if that guy can’t get it up, then there’s no way I can.” And that’s what the pharmaceutical bastards want you to believe... and at just a few hundred dollars a month, they’ve got a solution for you.

If you have been sitting around on your ass in front of the television for more years than Keith Richards has been on drugs, and you don’t get any exercise except to move you ass between the toilet, the couch and bed, and you eat, well, shit, then you may really have erectile dysfunction caused by a reduction of natural blood flow to your man machine. The solution, however, is not to pop a pill for your anniversary sex, but to do something to get yourself back in the game. If you start now, you may have sex a month before your next anniversary – and then again on your anniversary, too!

I’ve compiled all you have to do into one place. It’s a cafeteria plan for eliminating erectile dysfunction. Pick a little here and a little there. Nothing is undoable. I know, I had my ED and I got rid of it. Mine works just fine now without drugs. And because I dropped a few pounds and I feel better and I feel younger, I’m starting to get more attention from the ladies. If you’re married, the lady will be your wife – most of the time. If you’re single, then you have to be in good enough shape to attract a lady before you even get to overcoming performance issues. My book tells you how to do both.


HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. The best $4.99 you’ve ever spent.
Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.


Friday, October 7, 2011

Erectile Dysfunction, Heart Health, and Atherosclerosis – Hardening of the Arteries

Erectile Dysfunction can be the first warning sign that your arteries are building up plaque – you are beginning to have systemic atherosclerosis – your arteries are hardening – you’re going to have a heart attack or stroke.

Need I say more? Probably not, but I will.

Healthy arteries are lined with a layer of cells called endothelium that produce a substance called nitric oxide, chemical formula NO, one nitrogen atom attached to one oxygen atom. This compound is directly related to producing an erection. Viagra works by increasing the amount of nitric oxide in your system.

Let me repeat that... if your arteries are healthy, your body will produce all the nitric oxide it needs to keep you penis working properly. When you abuse your body and degrade the lining of your arteries – mostly with the overindulgence of animal based foods – you destroy the ability of your body to produce erections all by itself.

So, you take Viagra or one of the other ED medications and you’ve got a boner again. Great. But what about your arteries? Erectile dysfunction has a major impact on your life. So does death. Dead men don’t get laid! Ever! And the first sign of serious heart disease in over one quarter of all cases is death... that is... if you ignore your ED.

I love meat. Beef, pork, chicken & turkey, even fish. I’m not big on dairy, but I like pizza and eggs with just about anything and that anything is usually some kind of meat. However animal flesh and dairy have been clearly demonstrated to cause heart and artery disease, promote cancer, and shorten life and penis longevity. I wouldn’t dare to suggest you give up animal foods, but consider cutting down and replacing some meals with more veggie matter.

I suggest a plan of action that will help you accomplish this in my book. Please get a copy, read it, and try to follow my advice. You will live longer and sexier.

2nd Edition updated May 2012.

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. This concise and powerful men’s health guide provides a protocol for how to do everything right.
Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.
Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Erectile Dysfunction, Divorce, Internet Dating, and Performance Anxiety

So, you’re recently divorced, having not had sex in a long while, and you’re ready to get back in the proverbial saddle. You’ve found an internet dating site that looks good, provides an ample number of women who – if their photos are from this century – look attractive. You subscribe. Now you’re actually getting some “flirts” from them. 

This may also hold true if you have face-to-face contact with women who accept your flirts, but with that opportunity, you would have gotten divorced or into the saddle a long time ago.

The ultimate purpose of dating is sex. Yes, friendship, companionship, and even love may be in the equation as well, but unless you’re a 70+ year old that has – erroneously – decided that that part of his life is over, you’re going to want to make love to the woman you’ve approached, or whose invitation you’ve accepted.

And women want that, too. Don’t think for a moment that just because you ex-wife lost all interest in sex (with you) years ago, that women – including your ex when she gets back in the dating scene – doesn’t want to enjoy the physical aspect of a relationship. From the first date, she is evaluation you, just as you are sizing her up.

So you arrange to meet. You have coffee or a drink. Maybe you get along terrifically and there’s another date soon thereafter, dinner or perhaps a show. I personally don’t subscribe to the paradigm that a third date guarantees sex, sometimes slowing things down to enjoy the thrill of anticipation is a good idea. However, at some point, be it date #3, or #4, or maybe #2, you’ve got to be prepared to perform.

      There’s an aphorism, “When a dog chases a car, what does it expect to do if it catches one?”

      You get the woman. She’ll be yours if you ask, or maybe she’s asked you. “Care to come in for coffee,” has NOTHING to do with Arabica beans. You have sound reason to expect that you may have trouble getting a sustainable erection the first time you have sex with a new woman if you’ve been sidelined for a number of years. Here’s why:
  • Pure psychology:  “Performance Anxiety” will set you up for poor performance just by the very thought of it. Asking yourself the question, “Can I do it?” is a sure-fire way to get this particular snowball rolling down the mountainside. 
  •  Long-term reliance on masturbation: Your only source of release has been you. You will undoubtedly have a favorite way of exciting yourself and bringing yourself to ejaculation. You will have done this with some frequency – at times – and almost always the same way. But that could set you up for failure with a woman. A vagina feels different than your hand – or whatever. The sensation being different, you may have trouble maintaining an erection until her satisfaction. You may not be able to achieve orgasm and ejaculation. You’ve put yourself into a masturbatory rut. Try other ways of doing it. Here’s a web site that details various techniques. It looks like a gay site – it’s not (I think) – but don’t let that stop you from visiting. Gay or straight, masturbation is still auto-eroticism, it’s just what you think about during the deed that differs: Orgasmic Guy. (you probably don't want to view this at work.)
  •  You’ve gotta blow the gunk out of your carburetor. For those too young to remember carburetors, before fuel injection, it was a very clever device to mix air and gasoline before it went into a car’s engine. They were subject to fouling, and from time to time had to be cleaned... or you’d have to get your wheels out on the highway and take it to 100 to really blow out the crud. Your erection mechanism is the same. If it sits too long without use – female use – then you need to get it used to female touch, attention, and arousal again. I’m not promoting illegal – and perhaps unhealthy – activity, but here’s where a good hooker might be useful. Or, any stranger with benefits that won’t be around to judge you on your new-found ineptitude. An alternative is to find a woman who understands that you’ve been off the rodeo circuit for a while and will give you some time to regain your lost eptitude. 
  • Try a placebo. Take the boner-pill, but don’t invest in a year’s supply. Use Viagra or Cialis for the first few times. Yes, they will have physical benefits, but more importantly, they give you the confidence to overcome psychological roadblocks, masturbatory tunnel vision, and ensure reasonable performance while your erectile machinery gets used to a woman’s touch. Then stop taking them, they’re not good for you.



In conclusion, don’t second guess yourself. If you wake up in the morning with a sustainable piss-hard-on, or you get a little wood when the 20-something in your office bends down to file something in a bottom draw, your machine works. Take it slow when you’re with your woman. Make love, don’t shoot for just sex. She’ll like that and so will you.

Talk to your new mate. A woman should be understanding, maybe even encouraged by the fact that you just got out of a bad marriage and DID NOT “cheat” even though you were cut off for the last few years. Play that up: “I was still bound by my vows, and that’s why I sought divorce before dating again, and that took X years.”

If you’ve let yourself go – you’ve gotten fat and physically useless – then you may have some physiological reasons to be concerned, too. You may be too unhealthy to get an erection and have erectile dysfunction for real. Fortunately, while you’re working toward finding Ms. Next, you can make yourself feel and look better. Read my book:


HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. 

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.


Sunday, September 11, 2011

Erectile Dysfunction or Erectile Disinterest?

Back in my 20s (1970s), if the wind blew in the right direction, I could get an erection. The mantra back then – entirely in resonance with the zeitgeist – was “any portal in a storm.” Women, exercising their new liberation, were doing the same, though their metaphors are a bit more challenging.

Now things are different, and I’m not just referring to the biology. Along with a maturing body, that has slowed with time, and is less immediately responsive to the moment, there is a maturing of the mind. While able to “fulfill the promise” in some situations, it is not willing to perform in others. What’s going on?

It is easiest to explain by example. [Note: for the benefit of women reading this, the exact opposite will be true. You’ll have to find a blog discussing “Vaginal Dysfunction or Vaginal Disinterest?” at another site. That being said, the remedy for the physical manifestation of frigidity can be found in a tube, the use of which has no physical side effects and costs only a few dollars. No so for ED.]

Scenario #1 – generally applies to married couples
It has been a long time since you’ve had sex with your wife. It’s your anniversary, and whether by obligation, or perhaps some spark of remembrance of feelings for you early in your relationship, she makes herself available to you. But you’re not in the right mindset. You may have been working hard in the yard all day, or she’s treated you like shit for the past week and right now, you really don’t give a fuck. That translates into not being able to give the fuck. You don’t have erectile dysfunction, you have erectile disinterest.


Here I’ll interject a suggestion for the women. Men need foreplay, too. And, like you, it starts well before you hit the sheets. As Sinatra used to sing, “Try a Little Tenderness.”
Scenario #2—applies to any relationship that has expired
How many times have we heard about a divorce in which the couple stayed together far longer than they should have mostly because “the sex was great?” These are 28 year-olds breaking up, not 50+ year-olds.

You may be in a relationship – long term marriage or short term endearment – that has expired. As men and women in our 50s or beyond, we get habituated very easily to just having someone around. Whether there is cohabitation, or just the ritual of getting together Friday night, departing Sunday afternoon, we like having another person there. We enjoy some aspects of the companionship, but it’s more a matter of just not being alone in your own home, day after week after month. Finding someone new is just such a pain in the ass.

The moment will arise when she feels physical engagement is appropriate, but you won’t arise to meet it. You’re just not really interested anymore. The feel of her skin on yours, the smell of her, the shape of her, just doesn’t turn you on. Performance is dampened, often to the point of extinction. You don’t have erectile dysfunction, you have erectile disinterest.

Scenario #3—generally applies to new partners
You’ve met someone new. Perhaps you were introduced at a party, set up by a well meaning friend of relative, or made the arrangements yourself on an internet dating site. She’s “nice looking” and has all the parts. You go out once or twice. Maybe the ominous third date has arrived. She invites you in for coffee. You’re sitting on the couch which has a floral design reminiscent of your grandmother’s when you were a kid. She has a collection of Hummels on a shelf unit. 600 Hummels. There are magazines on the coffee table. She subscribes to the Christian Science Monitor and Macramé Monthly. You didn’t know any of this. In the brighter light of her living room, you realize that she just doesn’t look like the woman you were sitting opposite across a candle-lit table at the restaurant.

You don’t want to insult her, so you move close and kiss her. After a little of that, she takes you to the bedroom. She goes to the bathroom to freshen up. You disrobe and get under the sheets. She walks out and slips in next to you. You just don’t wanna do it. You keep running “any portal in a storm” through your head like an erectile mantra, but you just don’t have any feeling in the guy. I won’t run through the remainder of the scene, but you have erectile disinterest, you don’t have erectile dysfunction.

Those of you who have followed this blog know that I’m not an advocate of ED drugs. Their side effects can be extreme and their cost is outrageous. But having a pill or two, especially if you’re 50+ and just getting back into dating, may be on the “OK” side of the cost-benefit equation.   

Take a pill so you can perform regardless of the size of her dog that’s staring at you as you mount her.


2nd Edition updated May 2012.

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. This concise and powerful men’s health guide provides a protocol for how to do everything right.
Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.
Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Female Sexual Satisfaction: Promoting Fertility

Earlier this week, in my last blog post, I discussed “Female Sexual Satisfaction: The Case for Post-Play.”  In it I include the paragraph:

When a woman achieves orgasm, the cilia – the little hairs that move fluid – at the opening of her fallopian tubes go crazy. Then start suctioning in everything they can, including sperm containing semen. It is not a great leap to understand that if a woman achieves her satisfaction in the presence of semen – your satisfaction – there’s a tremendous evolutionary advantage. That is, there is a better chance of fertilizing an egg that is entering or in the fallopian tubes.

Coincidentally, or perhaps not so, I’ve seen a lot of chatter on Twitter this week about fertility, infertility, and the inability to conceive or become pregnant. Sorry – I had to get all the keywords in there.

I thought I might have glanced over the topic of fertility as it relates to female sexual satisfaction of the physical kind, that is, Orgasm. So here’s a brief synopsis that builds on the quoted paragraph above.

Female orgasm promotes fertility. If you (speaking to the women, now) have no diagnosed reason why you are not fertile, if you do not have blocked fallopian tubes, if you are producing viable eggs, if you do not have a hormonal condition or any other basis for not being able to get pregnant, then try having an orgasm.

Having an orgasm will get your man’s sperm-containing-semen where it has to be to fertilize your egg, while turning sex into a mechanical process just to get pregnant defeats the purpose on several levels:
  • It has been clearly demonstrated in clinical testing that tension, anxiety, and desperation to get pregnant are counterproductive. These emotions cause your adrenal glands to produce essential  hormones out of balance and will interfere with your uterine environment. You may have a fertilized egg that just won’t be able to grab onto your uterus; medically, the implantation of the fertilized egg/blastula/embryo is what is called conception. Many psychologists recommend going on vacation to promote pregnancy. Take a trip to Cabo. Make love on the beach.
  • Making sex a loving activity will promote your sexual satisfaction, and cause your body to produce those hormones and other pharmacologically active compounds that promote fertilization, conception, and a healthy baby.
  •  Finally, don’t you want your baby to be produced in the most loving act a man and a woman can share rather than being conceived when mom has a thermometer in one hand and with the sound of "I'm ovulating!" echoing in the room? Enjoy it. Your baby will, too.

Perfect timing (speaking to the men, now) is not always possible.  As stated in the previous post, the best time for your woman to have that orgasm is after you’ve had yours, that is, when your semen is present and moving into her uterus.

If you as a couple have the intention to become pregnant, then, regardless of the number and intensity of the orgasms the woman has leading up to her man’s ejaculation, she should continue for one more nice one. I describe in my previous post one sexual technique for doing just that: Post-Play.

Another technique is for the man to use his hand to stimulate his woman to have another orgasm.  The woman must cooperate, of course, relaxing and allowing herself that additional pleasure. If he’s not good at that, ladies, do it yourself. Let him watch. How else is he going to learn?

Last, make love to her with your mouth. Which brings us to another related topic: There is nothing that two rational loving people can do together that is disgusting. Men, think about the times your woman has loved you with her mouth after you’ve already had sex. Yeah, some of her was left behind and that didn’t stop her. Turnabout is fair play. If a little of you is left on her, you won’t taste it anyway, not with all of her that is there.

Just love that woman.

Think about how great a toast that will make at your kid’s wedding. "Yes, little Johnnie/Janie would not have come into this world, if I didn’t go down on Mom after we had sex on that beach in Cabo."

Good luck.

As always, I promote my book, and hope you'll buy it. It's not just about erectile dysfunction. If you're trying to get pregnant, I presume that's not an issue. It IS about all aspects of maintaining good health now, and building a lifelong metabolism that will allow you to sustain healthy sexual ability until long after your kids have graduated college.Much of it is as applicable to women as men.


HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. 

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Female Sexual Satisfaction: the Case for Post-Play

It’s clichéd. You (speaking to men) finish making love to your woman. You’re reasonably sure from her movements that she’s achieved substantial satisfaction. She’s sweating. You’re sweating. Hearts are racing and mutual smiles and a few tender kisses are exchanged.

Now what? Assuming you don’t hear her husband’s car pulling into the driveway, you stay awhile. Perhaps you stay inside for a bit until nature almost pulls you out all by itself. You lay next to her. If you really want her to look eagerly forward to your next encounter, you’ll cuddle.

But is that enough?

Advanced lovers touch there women after sex, too. You caress her. You move your hands gently over her body. To kiss her breasts, you stroke her thighs. Not with the same, “we’re going to have sex” touch you used a little earlier, but with a “thank you” feel in your hands and your lips. Some women don’t mind you bringing them to orgasm yet again with your hand. Certainly, if you think there’s any question as to her how often or intensely she’s had them, you’ll want to – need to –do this.

There’s another technique that’s based in evolutionary biochemistry that most men do not know. Let me explain the science, and then I’ll tell you what to do with it.

Within a few hours after vaginal ejaculation, certain proteins that are specifically found in semen are detectable in a woman’s blood. Whether those proteins cross into her blood stream through her vagina, or her uterus is unclear, but they’re there.

When a woman achieves orgasm, the cilia – the little hairs that move fluid – at the opening of her fallopian tubes go crazy. Then start suctioning in everything they can, including sperm containing semen. It is not a great leap to understand that if a woman achieves her satisfaction in the presence of semen – your satisfaction – there’s a tremendous evolutionary advantage. That is, a better chance of fertilizing an egg entering or in the fallopian tubes.

Put these two facts together and you have a fantastic sex technique for getting your woman to practically beg for sex... and from you.

After you ejaculate, proteins in your seminal fluid activate a biochemistry, perhaps a neuro-biochemistry, that makes her more sensitive to stimulation and more likely to have an orgasm. In “regular” sex, you stop when you’ve cum. But in this technique, after a brief pause to regroup – you don’t want to step on your own punch line – you continue. Move in and out slowly, but deliberately. Stroke as long and deep as you can, and make sure to press down to contact her clitoris with your pelvis. A small circular motion helps contact.

The biochemistry takes hold and, you shouldn’t be surprised as she starts to respond again. In many women, this post-play provides her with the longest and deepest orgasm of the entire love-making session. It is something she’s never felt before, and has not experienced with any other man. You’re a hero.

Now, two things you have to worry about. First, “Where the hell did you learn that?” might put you in an awkward situation. Have a printout of this blog handy. Second, if your woman is used to having you just roll over and go to sleep, then she may mentally stop herself from seeking any further satisfaction as soon as she feels you finish. It IS okay for you to discuss this with her. Tell her you’re going to try something new that is intended solely for her satisfaction. Again, you’ll be a hero.

One other issue: This depends to some extent on your maintaining at least a partial erection after ejaculation. If you penis shrinks to a mushroom cap after your orgasm, then you can’t do this very well, though manual stimulation – with your hand, as suggested earlier – will still work. But to prevent immediate retraction of your penis, you need to be fully potent.

This technique is mentioned, along with a few others, in my men’s health book detailed below. It’s not a technique guide; I don’t want to mislead you into thinking it is. It’s an overall health guide that will also keep you potent, so you can stay inside of her long enough to drive her to the limit.

Feel free to leave a comment and share your tale of glory.


2nd Edition updated May 2012.

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. This concise and powerful men’s health guide provides a protocol for how to do everything right.
Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.
Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.