Female Sexual Satisfaction: Promoting Fertility

Earlier this week, in my last blog post, I discussed “Female Sexual Satisfaction: The Case for Post-Play.”  In it I include the paragraph:

When a woman achieves orgasm, the cilia – the little hairs that move fluid – at the opening of her fallopian tubes go crazy. Then start suctioning in everything they can, including sperm containing semen. It is not a great leap to understand that if a woman achieves her satisfaction in the presence of semen – your satisfaction – there’s a tremendous evolutionary advantage. That is, there is a better chance of fertilizing an egg that is entering or in the fallopian tubes.

Coincidentally, or perhaps not so, I’ve seen a lot of chatter on Twitter this week about fertility, infertility, and the inability to conceive or become pregnant. Sorry – I had to get all the keywords in there.

I thought I might have glanced over the topic of fertility as it relates to female sexual satisfaction of the physical kind, that is, Orgasm. So here’s a brief synopsis that builds on the quoted paragraph above.

Female orgasm promotes fertility. If you (speaking to the women, now) have no diagnosed reason why you are not fertile, if you do not have blocked fallopian tubes, if you are producing viable eggs, if you do not have a hormonal condition or any other basis for not being able to get pregnant, then try having an orgasm.

Having an orgasm will get your man’s sperm-containing-semen where it has to be to fertilize your egg, while turning sex into a mechanical process just to get pregnant defeats the purpose on several levels:

• It has been clearly demonstrated in clinical testing that tension, anxiety, and desperation to get pregnant are counterproductive. These emotions cause your adrenal glands to produce essential  hormones out of balance and will interfere with your uterine environment. You may have a fertilized egg that just won’t be able to grab onto your uterus; medically, the implantation of the fertilized egg/blastula/embryo is what is called conception. Many psychologists recommend going on vacation to promote pregnancy. Take a trip to Cabo. Make love on the beach.
• Making sex a loving activity will promote your sexual satisfaction, and cause your body to produce those hormones and other pharmacologically active compounds that promote fertilization, conception, and a healthy baby.
•  Finally, don’t you want your baby to be produced in the most loving act a man and a woman can share rather than being conceived when mom has a thermometer in one hand and with the sound of "I'm ovulating!" echoing in the room? Enjoy it. Your baby will, too.

Perfect timing (speaking to the men, now) is not always possible.  As stated in the previous post, the best time for your woman to have that orgasm is after you’ve had yours, that is, when your semen is present and moving into her uterus.

If you as a couple have the intention to become pregnant, then, regardless of the number and intensity of the orgasms the woman has leading up to her man’s ejaculation, she should continue for one more nice one. I describe in my previous post one sexual technique for doing just that: Post-Play.

Another technique is for the man to use his hand to stimulate his woman to have another orgasm.  The woman must cooperate, of course, relaxing and allowing herself that additional pleasure. If he’s not good at that, ladies, do it yourself. Let him watch. How else is he going to learn?

Last, make love to her with your mouth. Which brings us to another related topic: There is nothing that two rational loving people can do together that is disgusting. Men, think about the times your woman has loved you with her mouth after you’ve already had sex. Yeah, some of her was left behind and that didn’t stop her. Turnabout is fair play. If a little of you is left on her, you won’t taste it anyway, not with all of her that is there.

Just love that woman.

Think about how great a toast that will make at your kid’s wedding. "Yes, little Johnnie/Janie would not have come into this world, if I didn’t go down on Mom after we had sex on that beach in Cabo."

Good luck.

As always, I promote my book, and hope you'll buy it. It's not just about erectile dysfunction. If you're trying to get pregnant, I presume that's not an issue. It IS about all aspects of maintaining good health now, and building a lifelong metabolism that will allow you to sustain healthy sexual ability until long after your kids have graduated college.Much of it is as applicable to women as men.

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. 

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.

Female Sexual Satisfaction: the Case for Post-Play

It’s clichéd. You (speaking to men) finish making love to your woman. You’re reasonably sure from her movements that she’s achieved substantial satisfaction. She’s sweating. You’re sweating. Hearts are racing and mutual smiles and a few tender kisses are exchanged.

Now what? Assuming you don’t hear her husband’s car pulling into the driveway, you stay awhile. Perhaps you stay inside for a bit until nature almost pulls you out all by itself. You lay next to her. If you really want her to look eagerly forward to your next encounter, you’ll cuddle.

But is that enough?

Advanced lovers touch there women after sex, too. You caress her. You move your hands gently over her body. To kiss her breasts, you stroke her thighs. Not with the same, “we’re going to have sex” touch you used a little earlier, but with a “thank you” feel in your hands and your lips. Some women don’t mind you bringing them to orgasm yet again with your hand. Certainly, if you think there’s any question as to her how often or intensely she’s had them, you’ll want to – need to –do this.

There’s another technique that’s based in evolutionary biochemistry that most men do not know. Let me explain the science, and then I’ll tell you what to do with it.

Within a few hours after vaginal ejaculation, certain proteins that are specifically found in semen are detectable in a woman’s blood. Whether those proteins cross into her blood stream through her vagina, or her uterus is unclear, but they’re there.

When a woman achieves orgasm, the cilia – the little hairs that move fluid – at the opening of her fallopian tubes go crazy. Then start suctioning in everything they can, including sperm containing semen. It is not a great leap to understand that if a woman achieves her satisfaction in the presence of semen – your satisfaction – there’s a tremendous evolutionary advantage. That is, a better chance of fertilizing an egg entering or in the fallopian tubes.

Put these two facts together and you have a fantastic sex technique for getting your woman to practically beg for sex... and from you.

After you ejaculate, proteins in your seminal fluid activate a biochemistry, perhaps a neuro-biochemistry, that makes her more sensitive to stimulation and more likely to have an orgasm. In “regular” sex, you stop when you’ve cum. But in this technique, after a brief pause to regroup – you don’t want to step on your own punch line – you continue. Move in and out slowly, but deliberately. Stroke as long and deep as you can, and make sure to press down to contact her clitoris with your pelvis. A small circular motion helps contact.

The biochemistry takes hold and, you shouldn’t be surprised as she starts to respond again. In many women, this post-play provides her with the longest and deepest orgasm of the entire love-making session. It is something she’s never felt before, and has not experienced with any other man. You’re a hero.

Now, two things you have to worry about. First, “Where the hell did you learn that?” might put you in an awkward situation. Have a printout of this blog handy. Second, if your woman is used to having you just roll over and go to sleep, then she may mentally stop herself from seeking any further satisfaction as soon as she feels you finish. It IS okay for you to discuss this with her. Tell her you’re going to try something new that is intended solely for her satisfaction. Again, you’ll be a hero.

One other issue: This depends to some extent on your maintaining at least a partial erection after ejaculation. If you penis shrinks to a mushroom cap after your orgasm, then you can’t do this very well, though manual stimulation – with your hand, as suggested earlier – will still work. But to prevent immediate retraction of your penis, you need to be fully potent.

This technique is mentioned, along with a few others, in my men’s health book detailed below. It’s not a technique guide; I don’t want to mislead you into thinking it is. It’s an overall health guide that will also keep you potent, so you can stay inside of her long enough to drive her to the limit.

Feel free to leave a comment and share your tale of glory.

2nd Edition updated May 2012.

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. This concise and powerful men’s health guide provides a protocol for how to do everything right.

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.

Erectile Dysfunction, Obesity, Diet and Sustainable Weight Loss

I don’t think any of you would argue that the man pictured here is obese. The accumulated pressure of all his fat distorts his skin and weighs down on his pants. This particular kind of distention is commonly called “belly fat,” as if it really needs a special name. It is particularly disgusting to woman who can’t imagine themselves being compressed under your girth. However, you may not even try, because this form of obesity often causes erectile dysfunction.

Belly fat is like an iceberg. The fat you see is only a small portion of the fat you’ve got. Most if it is on the inside. It clogs your arteries and it compresses your organs and applies pressure to sensitive nerves and blood vessels.

Just as this man’s pants are being pushed down under the weight of his external fat, his organs are being pushed down inside of him as well. This can restrict the blood flow to his penis – no blood pressure, then no erection – and it can irritate the nerves that carry the signal from his brain to his erectile machinery and, again, no erection.

Dieting, that is, classic dieting will not help. Even if you’re just “big” like this guy, chances are that life will not let you get on the kind of program that allows for sustainable weight loss to keep you motivated. The key word here is sustainable, and weight loss that keeps the weight off is slow, consistent, and healthy weight loss.

That will happen only with a change in your lifestyle.

The good news is:

·         You don’t have to completely give up anything you like to eat;

·         You don’t have to completely give up everything you like to drink;

·         You don’t have to do two hours a day at the gym;

·         You DO have to cut down, moderate, modify, actually eat more – but of healthier food – and work on your attitude about yourself and life in general.

But you have to start sometime. Do you want to be where you are now, 5 years from now? And you’ll be 5 years older as well. As an unhealthy individual, metabolically, you could be 10 years older for having done nothing to stop your weight gain. Yes, you will, on average, gain 3 to 5 pounds a year, if you’re over 50, and much of that will be internal fat – organ obesity.

To say that there’s too much to put into a blog posting to actually give you a list of what you have to do would be obvious. There’s enough to fill an entire book. As a matter of fact, I wrote the book and there’s a link at the bottom of this page.

But I’ve also found some other information about non-dieting weight loss. You can take a look at http://www.nondiet.com/blog/ as a place to start.

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HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. The best $4.99 you’ve ever spent.

Available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109. 

Also available at BN.com, Apple, and soon at Amazon.

Is Erectile Dysfunction a Symptom or a Disease?

According to Dictionary.com (medical dictionaries do not provide any better definition than those that follow), a Symptom is a phenomenon that arises from and accompanies a particular disease or disorder and serves as an indication of it.

A Disease is a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment. 

Few diseases have just one symptom; most have several. Sometimes there’s one big symptom that points a physician to a particular diagnosis. As an example, the appearance of specific skin eruptions will flag measles – a viral infection – as a disease that needs little additional testing to confirm. Fever and a red, inflamed and irritated throat can lead to a quick identification of Strep throat, a bacterial infection, but often a culture is taken to rule out any other possible cause.

What about one disease, here dis-ease might be more appropriate, such as erectile dysfunction, that is the result of the cumulative effect of many causes? Medical science doesn’t really have a name for that. Sure, if a man has had surgery or an injury to the erectile mechanism, there may be a single reason for lack of function, but 70%+ of men with ED, don’t have any identifiable cause. Unless we look at lifestyle, of course.

Taking genetic and developmental errors out of the definition, these men – the 70%+ -- can point to almost all of the other “disease” factors as the reason for their inability to get an erection: infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity,  unfavorable environmental factors, illness, sickness, and ailments.

Here’s what you have:

·                     Infection: your dietary habits, especially the consumption of processed sugar, opens your body to yeast infection. Your woman may buy some vaginal ointment to get her through a bad bout, but you might have caught it too. It can fester in your penis, and you can pass it back to her. Further, if you’ve had oral sex – presumably when she’s asymptomatic – you might have ingested it as well. It can live in your gastro-intestinal  tract and blossom when you pound down an entire bag of M&Ms or honey roasted peanuts. Yeast – Candida – will stress your adrenal glands and throw your hormones out of balance. It will contribute to erectile dysfunction.

·                     Poisons: aspartame (artificial sweetener), chlorine and fluorine in water, food dyes, nitrates in processed meats, and all those things you can’t pronounce that are listed in the ingredients of your packaged foods are all poisons. Many are cytotoxins that kill cells in the body, numb your nervous system, and again, stress your adrenals.

·                     Nutritional deficiency and imbalance: Duh! It is unlikely you’d be reading this if you didn’t have a diet from hell. I don’t mean diet as in “weight loss.” I mean diet as the complement of food and drink you consume. When was the last time you had a salad – or maybe a salad a day for an entire week? I’ve written a lot about this, including my book “HARD!” It’s a major factor in losing your bone.

·                     Toxicity: There’s lots of overlap here. Infections, poisons, and unfavorable environmental factors all lead to toxicity. Pain medications – excluding aspirin – and other prescription and over the counter drugs tox you badly. The pesticides on your food and in your water add devastatingly to the toxic load on your body. This goes straight to your man-parts.

·                     Unfavorable environmental factors: Ever come home and the little lady has scrubbed the floors and polished the furniture, and removed all the soap scum from the bathrooms, and cleaned all the windows? Okay, me neither. But when there is cleaning to do and the cleaners, solvents and polish are aerosolized in your home, it will tax your liver and contribute to shutting down your dick. Certainly if you use a polish for your tires or dashboard, or spruce up the leather seats of the car with a particular product from whose lawyers I’d rather not get a letter, you’re inhaling those fumes for weeks until they finally dissipate. The new carpet or paint at the office will do the same. They weaken the body’s ability to communicate within itself. Orders from the brain to boner mechanics don’t get there effectively, and when they do, the valves that control erection hydraulics don’t respond as they should.

·                     Illnesses, sicknesses and ailments: All of the other factors I’ve bulleted suppress your immune system. You become susceptible to getting sick. Sickness itself will stress your internal organs as they try to support an immune system that's under attack. Non essential functions, like erections, get shut down as other systems drain resources to try to keep your alive.

·                     Mental and emotional stress: I guess this might have been included as an “ailment,” but it’s so fundamental to maintaining or regaining full erectile function that I thought I’d break it out separately. I’m not going to convince you to ignore all the shit that’s happening in your life. You may be out of work or working for a complete asshole, and in a lousy relationship, and not having gotten laid in about a year, and finding out you’ve got bone issues when you anniversary comes around. Plus there is the political and social scene [see: http://robinader.com/BanNews.htm], and more. But you’ve got to understand that internalizing all this and letting it foment in your mind is going to blind your dick to any opportunity that comes along.

So have I answered the question? Erectile dysfunction is both a disease, and a symptom of many other diseases and effects.

I treat each of these in my book. The good news is that while you may have many causes of your ED, you may only have to deal with some of them and only to some degree to bring you back up above the threshold you crossed that stopped your dick from working.

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2nd Edition updated May 2012 is "NOT just for those with Erectile Dysfunction"

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is for all men who want to keep functioning well  throughout their life. This concise and powerful men’s health guide provides a protocol for how to do everything right.

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in iBooks, Kobo, Sony and all eBook formats for immediate download:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.

Viagra® and Cialis® go Generic – Is This Dangerous?

Sildenafil citrate, marketed as Viagra® by Pfizer, Inc. is beginning to become available in generic form as the patent on this medication expires around the world. Already available in Brazil and New Zealand, ownership of the formula expires in the United States in March of 2012. This will bring the cost of the erectile dysfunction medication which averages over $20 per pill in the US down to about $8. 

Cialis® goes generic in 2016.

 

Is this good news? I say, not necessarily.

There is a danger in taking these quick fix medications to address erectile dysfunction. I’ve written about this extensively in other articles on this blog and in my book – see link at bottom of post. Suffice it to say that the side effects and contraindications for these medications are extensive. So, I’m not going to beat that point to death again here.

However, there’s a new phenomenon. Men, most often over 50, but some as young as their early 20s, are taking these medications where no erectile dysfunction exists. Suffering from performance anxiety, an entirely psychological malady, men are seeking the drugs as they enter into new relationships, often after a long period of – albeit involuntary – celibacy. They are uncertain. They are afraid of the embarrassment.

Taken in this context, the drugs act entirely as a placebo, assuring men of performance where the mere stimulation of a lover’s touch would most likely be sufficient to attain erection.

Many doctors know this. They write a script for a small number of pills just to jump start a patient who thinks he’s got a problem, but has no diagnosable basis of his dysfunction. The savvy physician will advise a patient that, having successfully made love to his partner a few times, he should try going the distance without taking a pill. Most often the medications are no longer necessary; he and his partner live and love happily ever after.

There’s also a middle ground. Some men, most often those past 40 whose lifestyle – nutrition and exercise habits – have left them in poor physical condition, suffer from what they perceive to be the inability to get “hard enough.” Not as turgid as they were in their 20s, they demand prescriptions for ED meds – most often Viagra® or Cialis® – to firm them up.

They do not have erectile dysfunction. They have pre-dysfunctional warning signs that they should heed. They should get on a treadmill and cut out some of the poison they ingest – read my book. Taking an ED medication because you begin to feel that you’re losing your potency, is like putting face makeup to cover the burgeoning skin cancer that growing on your nose.

They will experience complete erectile dysfunction anyway. When they start having heart disease other maladies of “getting older,” they’ll be forced to take nitrates, beta blockers, or alpha blockers. They won’t be able to take ED drugs because of their other medications. They won’t be able to get it up. They’ll just be hanging around waiting to die.

The danger of Viagra® and Cialis® going generic lies in human nature. Once these medications are inexpensive enough to be purchased in bulk and on a whim, their use will increase exponentially. Ironically, not among those men that really need them; those guys are finding the resources to purchase them at their currently obscene prices.

The man who just wants to be harder without listening to his body screaming for health will take these drugs when they are just not needed.

The recreational user – perhaps even teens – will start to experiment with these powerful medications that impact the biochemistry of a man’s entire body. And they’ll do so just to get a tougher bone. The urban myths will abound about taking these drugs in high doses or combinations, “...will double the length of your dick, man.”

I’m not anti-drug. I think the DEA should be dismantled and that marijuana should be legalized. Hell, I think pot should be mandatory in the Halls of Congress – those guys really need to just chill the eF out.

But of all the things that a man does, making love – or just fun sex – should be experienced as close to nature as possible. Keep your body healthy through diet and a modicum of exercise and you will be able to perform well for life. As far as not being able to pound a 10-penny nail through a mahogany board with your pecker like you used to – live with it. She’s more than willing to.

* * *

2nd Edition updated May 2012 is not just for men with erectile dysfunction.

HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. This concise and powerful men’s health guide provides a protocol for how to do everything right.

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.