Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Erectile Dysfunction and Unemployment

I’m going to go way out on a limb and make a statement so radical you may be tempted to close your browser window and go screaming out into the night never to be seen or heard from again. Ready?
Men and women are different.

I’m not talking about genitals – as much as I really like to. Breasts? Nope. I’m referring to psyches, minds, ways of perceiving the world, their families, and themselves. Most applicable to this discussion of erectile dysfunction is unemployment.

Just as women have a “maternal instinct,” men have an “instinct to provide.” When our ancient ancestors lived on the land, in caves and temporary shelters, division of labor was the only formula for survival. Women gestated, gave birth, and nurtured the children. Men protected their families from other tribes, predatory animals, and caught game for food and skins for clothing. Men who were better at these tasks kept their families alive to propagate. Over the millennia, the absolute need by men to provide food, shelter, and clothing for our women and children became as much of a desperate need as the drive to reproduce.

In our modern culture, the separation of duties within the home has become blurred and in many cases obliterated. I contend that a woman’s need to provide is an offshoot of her maternal instinct; viscerally, her needs must be met, whether that's from someone else or through her own efforts. I do not demean, or in any way diminish that very real emotion, I just say that it comes from a different place than does the need by a man to provide for others.

When a man is unable to provide for his family he is stricken with a sense of being less than a man.  The best comparable emotion in a woman is that which is experienced when a woman is told she cannot bear children. Does it make her less than a person, in any way reduce her worth as a human being, a contributor to the community, a businesswoman, or a lover? No. But there is a profound sense of personal insufficiency. That is the emotion felt by men when they cannot earn a living.

Unemployment is rampant. So is erectile dysfunction.

The psychological toll of being out of work is far more profound than just the stress of paying the bills. Even if money can be found from other sources – his woman’s income, or a family benefactor – it is not the same as being the source of security. Certainly there are men who are born into wealth, and who do nothing to secure or perpetuate their stream of resources, but they play the mental “entitlement” game... they’re still the source of the money and all it provides to their families. To the working “Joe” who looks average, lives average, and has an average length penis, the only thing he’s got – or so he feels – to keep the adoration and admiration of his woman and children, is his ability to bring home the proverbial bacon. This is true even if he’s only bringing home half the bacon.

The deep feelings of helplessness that pervade the unemployed man’s every waking minute – and many of his dreams – is something that is cannot be completely removed from his consciousness even while watching his favorite team, or enjoying time with family, friends or his lover. It is there all the time. Like a missing child, it creates a hole in his stature as a man that manifests as a pressure in his gut that just doesn’t go away.

Some men – perhaps younger men with more options – may take this as a temporary setback. However, a man in his 40s, and certainly in his 50s or older, whose prospects for finding work are dim in this economy, will be affected to his core. Erectile dysfunction – so much a disease of poor nutrition and lack of exercise – is almost inevitable as the stressers multiply.

I won’t bog you down with the details of the biology and endocrinology of stress. But the distress of unemployment will cause a cascade of compounds to be formed in the body that can wreak havoc on the hormonal balance necessary for erectile function. With everything else that’s going wrong in your life, your woman comes to you, perhaps out of personal need, but also out of concern for your happiness and pleasure, and gives herself to you... and nothing happens. This leads to clinical,  or more often, subclinical depression. You know, you just feel like crap.

Oh, by the way, anti-depressants (Zoloft, Prozac, and other SSRIs) shut down your dick with the first pill. Medication induced erectile dysfunction may take months to reverse after you stop taking the drugs. So if you want to be happy and flaccid, be my guest.

On the other hand, there’s the irony that just when you think you need Viagra or Cialis the most, the cost of a doctor’s visit to get a prescription, and the price tag on those damn pills is just completely outside of your budget – because you don’t have a freaking job.


As hinted at earlier, the cause of ED is usually not just psychological. Stress exacerbates an underlying predisposition to erectile difficulties. That root cause is poor nutrition and lack of exercise. Here’s where there’s a good reverse correlation. The depressive state that unemployment causes can be lessened or eliminated through exercise and improved eating habits. Everything ties into everything else.


If you want to get back to work you have to make yourself more attractive to employers. If you want to get back into action between the sheets, you’ve got to whip yourself into better physical and psychological states. It all goes to becoming healthier. Conveniently, you have the time to improve your health while you’re not working. Take an hour a day to walk, run, bicycle, or work out at the gym. For the remaining “job hunting” hours of the day, you will be more effective in performing that chore, and more likely to land a position.


In my book, I provide you with a cafeteria plan of actions, foods, and strategies for getting yourself back into erectile shape. The precise protocol for regaining and retaining erectile potency will also make you potently attractive as a prospective employee. When you feel healthier, and sexier, you will project that level of confidence you had in your 20s – and all of life will improve.


Read the book. It’s the best freaking few dollars you’ll spend.


HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. 

Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

If Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Work for You, You Probably Don’t Need Them


There are many causes of Erectile Dysfunction. Some can be corrected and some cannot. 

Often, those men that have had surgery – prostate removal being most common – will lose the ability to ever attain a natural erection because nerves that control the erectile mechanism that run across the surface of the prostate gland have been removed as collateral damage of the prostatectomy. Certain spinal surgeries will also sever the communication from brain to penis necessary for tumescence.

For these men, implants and other tacts are necessary for sexual satisfaction. It should be noted that failure to achieve erection does not necessarily mean that orgasm and ejaculation are not possible. You just need an understanding and cooperative partner.

However, if you are one of the 500 gazillion men – according to the drug companies – that have successfully used an ED drug, then you most likely don’t need it.

If you can get a hard-on by taking a pill, then you have the comforting knowledge that the basic erectile machinery works. You body can pump blood into your penis, you valve mechanism can maintain pressure long enough to satisfy all those present, and then it goes away as it should.

So, why can’t you do that on your own without the medication, the cost of the medication, and a psychological dependence on the medication? Well, you can.

Virtually every man I know 50 years of age or older who has gotten back in the saddle after a long absence, has made some comment to me similar or identical to, “Yeah, I had this one Viagra [or Cialis, or whatever] that someone gave me, and it worked great.” I don’t know who this is that’s handing out one pill at a time, but I don’t call anyone down for being less than upfront about having spoken to their doctor, gotten a prescription, and having bought some pills just in case. I did the same thing.

What they also say is that once they start having sex with some frequency, if they try going without the pill, they find they don’t need it to perform well and perform regularly. This clearly indicates that one of three things may be occurring. I present them here in reverse order of likelihood, that is, the least likely first:

  • There is some as yet uncharacterized physiological state in which one’s penis must be re-primed for action. One has to “blow out the sludge” as if gunk had accumulated in the pipes. Once the drugs have done that, then it’s smooth sailing.
  • Sex is a lot like riding a bicycle. If you haven’t ridden a bike in many years, you will find you need a few minutes to get your balance and feel comfortable making turns – especially tight turns – while watching where you’re going. Of course bike riding is a solitary endeavor and you don’t have to ride a bike to someone else’s satisfaction. And, of course, the first time out your ass hurts like hell. Taking the ED drugs gives you the ability to get back on the bike and ride like the wind more quickly.
I firmly believe that both of these are contributory to reinstating one’s erectile competence. But the third, I believe, is the greatest factor:

  • You’re scared shitless. It has been a long time since you've t been with a woman that doesn’t know you and you're afraid she won't give you the benefit of the doubt. You are, perhaps, trying to begin a relationship that might have scope outside the bedroom, but man + woman = sex is an essential part of the equation. If you fail miserably at your first attempt, you may not get an invitation to try again. The buzz word here is Performance Anxiety, it's been around forever, but I blame Big Pharm for convincing a lot of men they’re going to have a problem when they wouldn’t otherwise.

In the old days, performance anxiety could cause a temporary suspension of operations. Usually, later on the same night, things would work perfectly and the initial false start becomes a joke that loses importance and fades into a couple’s sexual history. Nowadays, one can’t watch an evening of television without being barraged by commercials. One after another, handsome, slim, athletic men, each the image of health and vitality are telling you that they can’t get a boner, and that’s natural... for a man your age.

You look in the mirror and you don’t see one of these television actors – each a refugee from GQ magazine ads. You see a profoundly out of shape guy with no upper body strength, a pot belly, and a flat ass. “Hell,” you tell yourself, “if that guy can’t get it up, then there’s no way I can.” And that’s what the pharmaceutical bastards want you to believe... and at just a few hundred dollars a month, they’ve got a solution for you.

If you have been sitting around on your ass in front of the television for more years than Keith Richards has been on drugs, and you don’t get any exercise except to move you ass between the toilet, the couch and bed, and you eat, well, shit, then you may really have erectile dysfunction caused by a reduction of natural blood flow to your man machine. The solution, however, is not to pop a pill for your anniversary sex, but to do something to get yourself back in the game. If you start now, you may have sex a month before your next anniversary – and then again on your anniversary, too!

I’ve compiled all you have to do into one place. It’s a cafeteria plan for eliminating erectile dysfunction. Pick a little here and a little there. Nothing is undoable. I know, I had my ED and I got rid of it. Mine works just fine now without drugs. And because I dropped a few pounds and I feel better and I feel younger, I’m starting to get more attention from the ladies. If you’re married, the lady will be your wife – most of the time. If you’re single, then you have to be in good enough shape to attract a lady before you even get to overcoming performance issues. My book tells you how to do both.


HARD! Maintaining Potency, Eliminating Erectile Dysfunction, and Enjoying Healthy Sex for Life is not just for those with ED, but for all men who want to keep functioning throughout their life. A concise and powerful men’s health guide, HARD! provides a protocol for how to do everything right. The best $4.99 you’ve ever spent.
Available at BN.com/Nook, Apple, and Amazon/Kindle.

Also available in all eBook formats for immediate download: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/65109.